i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
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she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
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You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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