I hate your face
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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