I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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