Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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