i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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