I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
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He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
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Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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