i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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