I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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