she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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