apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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