i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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