is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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