i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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