Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
They have beer where we have blood.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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