I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize