He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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