I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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