if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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