Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He did a backflip because drugs
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