I feel like I'm in dance class right now
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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