you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
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I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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