I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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