NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
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her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
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I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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