Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize