im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
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His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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