I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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