he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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