Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize