No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
someone owes me an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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