Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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