I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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