His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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