So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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