tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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