I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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