I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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