omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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