you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I cut my penus on the lid.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
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