She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
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I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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