Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
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My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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