Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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