and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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