You can't motorboat a personality
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize