your room smells of hookers.
And success
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize