grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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