Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
IβM PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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