The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
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You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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