Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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