I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize