The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize